Verdict: Song and video are amazing, which is a good thing considering that the amount of cynicism behind Robbie rejoining Take That and releasing another Greatest Hits package has so far been somewhat overwhelming. So at least this makes up a bit. I like the looks they exchange throughout. And the ending. And actually everything about it.

M.I.A.’s “/\/\/\Y/\” has completely conquered me, but it has taken WEEKS of listening to do so. At first listen the record seems an impenetrable wall of random noises (the fact that “Steppin’ Up”) is the first song isn’t helping, as it’s probably the weirdest production on the album), but once you get past the screeching and booming, you discover amazing lyrics and great melodies. In particular “Lovalot” is a political song of such intensity that hair on my back stands up as I listen to M.I.A. intoning the lyrics in an icy monotone — “I really love Allah… but I fight the ones that fight me”. One for people who used to love Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation 1814″ and wish that instead of moist pussy ballads Janet would do a truly groundbreaking, innovative record that, somehow, you still can shake your booty to. (5/5)

Major Lazer’s EP “Lazers Never Die” I discovered completely accidentally, when finding out Switch and Diplo have a band and that the band has a funny name. And then I listened to “Sound of Siren” which happens to feature M.I.A. on vocals and Major and me have been inseparable ever since. Even the final track on the EP, bearing the uber-scary “Thom Yorke remix” credit, is surprisingly listenable. The first three tracks are absolutely top notch, though — a full-length album featuring three singles as amazing as “Sound of Siren”, “Good Enuff” and “Bruk Out” would already find itself duly purchased by yours truly, and this EP throws those three one next to each other. While the album that preceded the EP, “Guns Don’t Kill People… Lazers Do” hasn’t completely conquered me, this EP did. Goooooood shit. (4.5/5)

Rusko’s “O.M.G.” features Rusko’s “gorgeous” face and an exhaled puff of smoke on the cover. Yeah, I used to think this kind of photo was very cool, too. I was a bit younger then. True to form, Rusko’s album is… a bit… juvenile. (Yes, I just said something is more juvenile than Major Lazer’s lyrics.) There are highlights, like “Rubadub Shakedown” or the lead single, “Woo Boost”, but the whole collection just… drags on forever, let down by the heavy-on-high-frequencies mastering and samey sounds throughout. Had “O.M.G.” been a five-track EP, like “Lazers Never Die”, it would have been way more listenable. (2.5/5)

Janelle Monae’s “Archandroid: Suites II and III” is… brilliant. Her voice goes from a low spoken-verse into emotional shrieks, she looks like an alien (or a member of Jackson family), and the combo of “Cold War” and “Tightrope” is so incredible that I ended up charting both because one just wasn’t enough. If there is one thing that I find problematic with “Archandroid” is that suddenly I realise why some people hate Janet’s interludes — “Archandroid” is two “suites”, and, um, the pseudo-classical bits and the fact most tracks segue into each other doesn’t convince in the age of ipods, playlists and EPs. Nevertheless the combo of “Dance or Die” and “Faster” is so flawless that even I have to admit it’s difficult to imagine those two NOT being segued. (4/5)

Based on the minireviews before, coupled with the fact that I am an old man *cough cough* who gets late to parties (none of those records is really new, and I am painfully aware of that fact), what else would you recommend to me?

If you need me, I’ll be, ah, um, having a big glass of cold water and breathing heavily.