Day 15 vs Day 1:

• Weight: 77.0 vs 78.4
• Hips circumference: 82 cm vs 86.5 cm
• Waist size: 76 cm vs 78 cm
• Body fat level: 10.9% vs 13.4%

Continuing!

Yesterday I was talking to a friend about my 30 day challenge and I mentioned that a part of it is not drinking coffee. Then I admitted drinking lots of green tea. “Aha!” he exclaimed. “So you basically still get 5 cups of coffee a day!”

My initial reaction was to produce a chart that said an espresso has 100 mg of caffeine, while a cup of green tea has 15, but then I thought, really, this is like the time when I was vegetarian. I haven’t eaten any meat for three years or thereabouts, but at any party there would always be one of those people who would point at my leather boots and exclaim “Aha! You are not really saving animals! Is this leather I see!” I could then explain how leather is really a by-product from cows getting killed for their meat, but really… what’s the point?

There is ALWAYS more that I could be doing. I could be running a mile before breakfast. But then, I could run two miles before breakfast. I go to the gym four or five times a week, but I could go six. And I could also spend more time on my Dutch. And on drawing. And writing. And making music. And I could give up green tea, of course. But is there really a point where I should be heading to avoid hearing my friend exclaim triumphantly “Aha! You own a leather wallet! So you do hate animals after all!”?

That old slogan that goes “it is not the destination that matters but the journey”? It’s kinda true. Because being fit isn’t about going towards some goal (what would that be, winning the olympics?) and then wiping sweat off your brow and going “aaah, now I can relax with pizza and beer”. (Unless of course you are Kevin Federline.) I am not trying to make my friends envy me, or to stop using any caffeine whatsoever, or to single-handedly save the planet. All I am trying to do is succeed in my small tiny little easypeasy 30 day challenge. And even if I fail on one of those days, I still succeeded 29 times.

So people are talking to me about my 30 day challenge. Some are impressed. Some are pissed off. Some are condescending. Some are laughing about it.

The most familiar reaction is actually irritation: “It’s easy for you.” Or: “Well, I would do that too, but I have children/I live in a small town/I don’t have time/I don’t know how to do that.” When I start to explain how to do that, the person dismisses me with a quick “oh nooo, I really don’t think it’s my thing”. Then they grab a donut.

(True story: I had a flatmate who was trying to lose weight. He would approach it like this: breakfast — a few grapes; lunch — a few grapes; dinner: a big cake since he was so good all day. That was years ago. Apparently, though, he is still doing it — a friend told me they went to a party together and ex-flatmate was going on about his healthy lifestyle while consuming an entire bag of crisps.)

I know all about excuses, because I was a king of excuses for 29 years. I couldn’t work out because: it was tiring, time-consuming, I didn’t know how to do it, everybody would stare at me, I didn’t like people who went to the gym, I didn’t have time, didn’t know any gyms nearby, didn’t want to look like a bodybuilder, and — above all — my weight gain was simply a result of old age, I told myself, eating my pizza with side salad, because I was a healthy eater after all.

Original motivation for me to start working out was of two kinds: 1. it was either that, or buying new wardrobe in larger sizes — I couldn’t fit into any of my pants anymore except for one size 34 pair that was threatening to burst any moment; and 2. my boss, who told me he worked out five times a week, which I found a scary, unnatural and… exciting idea. Is it POSSIBLE to work out five times a week? I wondered. Doesn’t that KILL people? But my boss looked very much alive.

That was three years ago. My motivation changed. First, I wanted to lose weight. Then I wanted to gain strength (let’s face it, you don’t become a huge bodybuilder unless you use steroids and work waaaaaay harder than 99.9% people going to gyms do… but a nice muscular figure has NEVER gone out of fashion, and it’s so handy to be able to lift your own luggage). Then I just fell in love with the lifestyle, with lifting, sweating and relaxing at the sauna afterwards and the pleasant ache and feeling I did well.

Food-wise? Protein shakes and meat form a large part of my diet. People who complain about how disgusting protein shakes are, obviously never had one, or not since the Nineties. The new brands are cheap and taste like melted ice cream, which is very much up my alley, I love ice cream.

So why do I need to do the 30 day challenge? First of all, there’s focus; it’s easy to tell yourself “yars, yars, I am eating healthy, so there’s no harm in another glass of wine” or “yars, I had a leg workout today, so there’s no harm in having a huge bowl of spaghetti for dinner”. It’s okay if you do that once or twice a week, but if you do it everyday, you are quite unlikely to become ripped. Second of all, I like to prove to myself that I can do it. And third, I lost over 1.5 kg fat within the first 9 days. Unlike people on stupid diets consisting of grapes, ice cubes and “bowel relaxing tea”, I didn’t lose water or muscle tissue. I lost fat. And suddenly, 9 days later, I went from “you’re not fat, darling, just a bit… rounded here and there” to having a nice, flat stomach. Beat that.

It is okay if people laugh about it. It is okay if people roll their eyes and mutter something about insanity. It is okay if people say “I wish I had your determination” while munching on a donut with double glazing. It is okay when they say “I wish I knew how to do it… BUT DON’T TELL ME”. Because it’s not about them. It’s not even about boyfriend (although I suspect he might enjoy the end result). It’s not about anyone else. It’s about me. My motivation is me. Sure, pictures of ripped men that I put on my fridge, mobile and computer wallpaper help in a way — they help me stay in focus when I have impure thoughts about pizza — but at the end, I am my own motivation. And if you don’t have that kind of motivation, you’re doing something wrong.