I’m afraid I find it unintentionally hilarious (plus, it’s hard to imagine people on the bottom of the, um, pyramid enjoying it too much). Still, who knew group sex made Kylie SO HAPPY? And when she lets the dove out at the end, she looks soooooooo pretty. *swoon*
9.07pm (Amsterdam time) Aaah, U2 are gone and Kylie is here. That’s an upgrade if anyone asks me. GO KYLIEEEEEEE
9.08pm “Some of the biggest live acts in the world at that time. And the Ting Tings!” Ouch.
9:10pm Duffy is the Best British Female. Colour me unsurprised. Poor Adele and her last year’s Critics Award For A Major Label Act That Hasn’t Released Anything Yet But It Would Be Good To Make Sure Her Record Sells Wouldn’t It.
9:14pm Katy Perry is the Best International Female. How unexciting. She kissed a girl and she liked it. BIG DEAL. Even I kissed a girl and liked it. I was 10 then.
“I’m so sick right now” sez Katy Perry. Well Katy at least you don’t have to listen to yourself.
9:19pm Girls Aloud. I know everybody on Popjustice luvz Girls Aloud, but personally I don’t really see what the big fuss is. They’re a girlband. They survived past their Greatest Hits. They have moderately catchy songs. Oh, I just realised that does make them unique…
9:21pm “IT’S A BRIT WINNER DUFFY MCDUFFSTAR!” Oh dear.
9:27pm God, it’s slightly depressing, isn’t it. OH THE EXCITEMENT U2 PERFORMED ALREADY!!1!
9:29pm British Breakthroughs. If Scouting For Shit wins this one I’ll be slightly pissed off.
9:30pm Duffy. Well, the only obvious choice out of those really. MORE DUFFY MCDUFFSTAR JOKES REQUIRED — FEARNE PREPARE
9:31pm “Oh my gosh! Once again! I’m starting to recognise your faces!” Oh that was actually funny. Unlike James Corden.
9:32pm Coldplay play “Viva La Vida”. Oh good. A break from James Corden being hilarious.
9:36pm God. “What performances are you looking forward to seeing?” “I’m a chef, you can’t ask me musical questions.” FUCK OFF THE SHOW THEN
9:39pm I am starting to look forward to adverts. Not good. Brits have never been particularly good, and I’m sort of glad (in a sad sort of way) to see that hasn’t changed.
9:41pm “And the very lovely Pet Shop Boys” KYLIEEEE KYLIEEEE
9:42pm Best International Group. Indie rock, indie rock, indie rock, indie rock and indie rock. Mmmmm, tough choice! I say The Killers. *waits* Kings Of Leon. Whatever.
9:44pm Dissing Craig David is sooooo easy, isn’t it.
9:45pm Best British Male Solo Artist. Oh dear. Best British Male is so miserable The Streets and Ian Brown get nominations. Paul Weller wins. Well, I suppose Morrissey hasn’t been active enough in 2008.
9:48pm Duffy sings “Warwick Avenue”. How odd. Her least hit-sounding single so far. Maybe she’s determined to sell 4 more downloads.
9:50pm The amazing thing about Duffy though is that she never stops being perfectly in tune. I have to admire that, as it’s my biggest problem as a singer — I am hardly ever in tune. *snif*
9:58pm If you want a funny fat man, DO get the real Perez…
9:59pm Ha. “You need to get back in the gym” Yes he does!
10:00pm Best International Album: AC/DC “Black Ice”; Fleet Foxes “Fleet Foxes”; Kings Of Leon “Whatever”; Some Other Indie Crap “Blah”; MGMT “I never got MGMT”. Was music so horrible in 2008?! Honestly I didn’t notice!!!
10:03pm Take That. The problem with them is that their post-reform output is very solid, yes, I charted some songs and really liked them, but it’s SO. BORING. They are SO GROWN UP. How do people manage not to fall asleep during their live shows is beyond me.
10:06pm And they were MIMING.
10:07pm “Best Live British Act”. SURPRISINGLY every single nominee is a four-piece rock band!!1! The winner is… Iron Maiden and that actually kind of IS surprising. Good for them. I was scared it would be Coldplay who played a very very bad (vocally) rendition of Viva La Vida.
10:10pm Oh My God. Hoff.
10:11pm “Fast forward a few decades, nothing’s changed. But everything’s changed.”
10:12pm Best British Group. Nominating Elbow is cruel because they’re so not gon… OMG Elbow win?! Whoa.
10:18pm My live stream just DIED. OMG!!!1! (During Kings of Leon so I am not missing much but I am LIVEBLOGGING HERE!!! HELLO!!!)
10:24pm IT IS BACK!!!! (Thanks to Nathan Jay.) Critics’ Choice award, also known as Kiss Of Death, goes to Florence And The Machine. Poor them. Forever destined to be #2 to someone similar but better.
10:26pm “I’ve got one question for you in the audience. Do. You. Look good. NAKED?” Oh baby. You don’t even IMAGINE.
10:27pm Best International Male. More misery. Can’t think of anyone but Ne-Yo that should win this one, and he’s not nominated. Oh GOD — Kanye West won it. His ego will never fit in a standard-size limousine after that one.
10:30pm Finally a live performance worth watching: Ting Tings and Estelle doing Shut Up, American Boy, And Let Me Go. BLISS
10:31pm …and That’s Not My Name as well
10:32pm The Ting Tings are so totally doing the Dizzee Rascal version of That’s Not My Name!
10:33pm British Single! I’m hoping Coldplay win this one. Just because.
10:35pm Oh! Girls Aloud won. This is soooooooooooooo not their best song ever. Or this year even. Whatever.
10:37pm British Album. Judging by what we’ve seen so far this one is going to go to Calvin Harris.
10:39pm Aaah 1) it’s Mastercard British Album, and 2) Radiohead released an album this year, so… oh hang on DUFFY. Well. Hmm. I’d give her two awards, but three is a bit much.
10:43pm OOOH THE EXCITEMENT I got a liveblogging comment before I finished liveblogging! The answer to you dear Fearless reader is: yes and no — half of the people on the stage look drunk, but nothing exciting happened so far, unless you count Estelle starting to sing at a completely random moment.
10:48pm Oooooh, I just started liking Brandon Flowers more. “Louder Than Bombs” vs “Discography”?! That WAS a tough choice!!!
10:49pm FINALLY PET SHOP BOYS
10:50pm Suburbia/Love Etc./Left To My Own Devices/Always On My Mind/Go West-Paninaro mashup/Opportunities-What Have I Done To Deserve This mashup (with Lady CaCa)/Domino Dancing-I’m With Stupid mashup/Being Boring-Opportunities mashup/It’s A Sin (with Brandon Flowers)/All Over The World/West End Girls (with Lady CaCa and Brandon Flowers) AMAZING
10:59pm Closing music: West End Girls (instrumental). It was worth those two hours to see the PSB medley for 10 minutes. AMAZING.
…post The Stupid Song:
